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24 April 2011 @ 08:13 pm
It's Complicated [eleven]  
Title: It's Complicated
Author: atl340
Pairing: Jack/Alex
Rating: NC-17 overall.
Dedications: Everyone on tumblr who said nice things about my writing today :3
Summary: The line was cliche, and always an understatement,
but it was the best he could come up with

Disclaimer: You know the drill, this is all a lie. Title belongs to A Day To Remember
A/N: Thanks for all the sweet comments on the last chapter :3 i've been feeling like
i suck at writing lately so they made me feel better. follow me on tumblr if you wanna :)

previous chapters here




'Are you planning on moving tonight baby?'

Crawling onto the bed to hover over Alex the younger boy sighed, prizing out the soft toy cuddled between the teacher's arms and replacing the space with his own body. Alex didn't open his eyes, but he offered a soft smile and a shrug of his shoulders.

'No point'

And that was the third time today that Alex had responded with that, and the younger boy sighed and nuzzled his nose against the teacher's, coaxing Alex to open his eyes and look at him. When he did Jack gave him a little smile, pecked his lips.

It was just a couple hours after Alex's showdown with Rian, and the older boy was still obviously cut up about everything his best friend had said. Jack on the other hand, was just mad, just really fucking furious that Rian had the audacity to say some of those things to Alex, to make him feel like shit when he was trying so hard.

Because Rian didn't get it, he didn't understand that it was hard for Alex to love Caleb, to adapt to the Dad role. He didn't understand but Jack did, and it made him so unbelievably mad to see Alex's eye's all red and puffy, and to see his body curled up miserably against Jack's as they laid in bed.

Part of the younger boy was glad that Rian had left after their fight, gone off god knows where, but there was a definitely a part of him that wished Rian would come back so that he could tell him to back off of Alex, because Jack was kind of done with politeness at this stage. It wasn't okay for anybody-let alone the man's best friend- to be making Alex feel bad.

But when the older man looked so sad, it was easy for Jack to set his anger to the side. Sighing, he supported his head with his hand and looked down at Alex, running a hand through caramel hair.

'You gonna come downstairs?'

'No'

'Please?'

'No'

'Alex!, Jack whined, drawing out the last letter and burying his nose in the teacher's hair, 'Please? I'm lonely downstairs'

'So stay up here' Alex mumbled, and Jack shook his head incessantly.

'Please just come downstairs? I wanna watch a movie with you'

'But-'

'Please?' Jack pouted, and it fell to a frown as Alex sighed, his hands running idly through the teacher's hair, 'I know the things Rian said upset you Alex, but you just..I'm not gonna say you should ignore it but I don't think you should take it to heart either. He doesn't understand that you're trying, and that's not fair okay and you're not selfish, or heartless or any other of those stupid things that he called you okay? Not to me'

He bit his lip as Alex shuffled closer to him, their noses touching and the teachers eyelashes tickling Jack's cheeks.

'Rian said that you'd figure me out one day too.. that.. that you'd see what I'm really like and well, I'm scared of that. I'm scared he might be right'

Jack just laughed, soft and barely there. 'Well then you're really stupid.'

He pulled Alex back when the older man attempted to roll away from him, keeping a tight grip on his hip and forcing eye contact.

'Listen, stop with the insecurity okay? One thing in your life that you don't ever need to be insecure about is how I feel for you, or if that's going to change. We've..we've had some bad times Alex, and we're still here right?'

He waited for an answer and it took a moment, but then the older man nodded against him.

'Okay' Jack agreed, 'So what could we really go through that's worse than what we've already had happen to us huh? 'Cause I don't know about you but, I think we can pretty much deal with anything by now.'

'Yeah but-'

'Just.. stop over-thinking things babe', Jack murmured, trailing his fingertips over the smooth of Alex's neck, 'When it comes to me you don't need to, because I'm always going to be here'

That was one promise that the younger boy knew whole-heartedly  that he was going to keep. When Alex didn't say anything back Jack nuzzled ever closer, pressing their lips together softly.

'Okay?'

A few soft kisses later, and the teacher finally smiled, nodded his head and nudged his nose against Jack's.

'Kay'

'Good', The younger boy smiled, 'Now will you come downstairs and watch a movie with me please?'

Alex deliberated, shrugged, 'Will you make popcorn?'

'Sure'

'Can I pick the movie?'

'Fine.. yeah'

'Will you carry me downstairs?'

'Fuck you Alex'

The teacher grinned, eyes sparkling, 'After the movie baby'

- - -

It was a lot later, when they were both curled up in the sheets with distressed hair and smiles on swollen lips that the older of the two sighed, resting his hand on Jack's bare chest and watching it rise and fall as the younger boy just watched him with a smile.

The golden light bathed across Jack's flushed cheeks and the older man burrowed closer, nuzzling the tip of his nose against the younger boys cheek.

'M'scared', He admitted quietly, and his eyelids fluttered as he looked down between their bodies, at their intertwined fingers. Jack gave his hand a squeeze.

'About what?'

It was simple,really, 'Caleb coming home'

Maybe it felt a little better to have the admission out, but it didn't help the nerves fluttering in the teacher's gut. Because it was getting real now, more real than it had been for the first four years of Caleb's life because this wasn't going to be the same little boy anymore, the one that Alex could so easily ignore.

The Caleb that was coming home had just had fucking heart surgery, and he was going to be vulnerable and fragile and in need of all kinds of care and attention, and Alex was just so scared that he was going to put a foot wrong, that his best efforts just wouldn't be enough. Because honestly, the older man wasn't capable of looking after a normal, healthy little boy. How on earth was he supposed to cope with a post-heart surgery four year old?

He couldn't do it, he knew he wouldn't be able to and he was petrified. That admission all came out in a  tumble of words to Jack and by the time Alex was done his breathing was heavy and he was breaking out in a sweat that had nothing to do with what he and the younger boy had done just half an hour ago.

But like always, Jack was there to calm him down, talk him through it and make it okay again.

In a couple of movements he had Alex bundled up in his arms, holding him close and stroking his back and whispering in his ear.

'We'll figure it out together', Was all that he said.

- - -

Friday was such an absolutely infuriating day for Jack.

Caleb was coming home, and where was he? At college, in his first, boring and pointless class of the day. It was maddening, even more so because Alex right about now was picking Caleb up from the Hospital. It was so fucking unfair to Jack, because the teacher was just allowed to take the day off, and yet he'd insisted the younger boy couldn't miss college.

Honestly? Jack didn't give a single fuck about his education today.

He just wanted to see Caleb, see that he was okay and be there to help Alex avoid a complete breakdown, like he'd promised he would just two days ago. He didn't want to sit in a class where he wasn't even concentrating, with his stupid friends who had nothing better to do than snigger and pass notes and throw paper aeroplanes at each other.

Even Zack, who kept sending him sympathetic glances, couldn't really understand how his best friend was feeling.

Jack just didn't want to be there, and he was pretty much at his wits end by the time his class finished, and he hurtled himself down the corridor and into a quiet space where he could call Alex. He just hoped to God that things were okay.

He supposed it was a good thing when the older man answered the phone fairly calmly, just a slight edge of distress to his words that anybody but Jack probably wouldn't pick up.

'Hey baby'

'H-hey, is everything okay? Is he home?'

He heard a faint laugh down the line through his panic, before Alex replied, 'Everything's.. fine. Caleb's sleeping'

'Why?' Jack frowned, 'Is he supposed to be? What if-'

'Jack!' The older man cut him off, and he laughed somewhat nervously, 'You're supposed to be helping me stay calm babe, everything's okay, I promise. The doctor's said it's normal for him to be sleeping a little more, so long as his breathing stays normal'

Jack nodded to himself, trying to make his brain process the words and calm the fuck down because he was about to start hyperventilating or something. Alex was right too, he was supposed to be the one comforting the teacher, not the other way around. Leaning against the wall behind him, Jack sighed.

'Sorry babe' He mumbled, running a hand through his hair, 'I just..I don't know, forget it. How's um.. how's Rian?'

It didn't really do much for his nerves when the line went silent.

'Alex?..'

It was barely a whisper, when the teacher spoke, 'He's..he's not here, Jack'

'W-what?'

Jack could hear his heart thudding.

'He hasn't been home since Wednesday, when we.. when we fought and, I called him this morning, and asked him if he was coming to get Caleb with me..'

'And?'

The older man sniffed, replied quietly 'And he said no. H-he said it's not his responsibility anymore..'

Jack didn't need to hear any more.

'I'm coming home'

- - -

Alex was up from his spot on the floor in a flash when he heard even a trace of an uneven breath, and the teacher was kneeling next to Caleb's bed in an instant, heart thudding.

Since he'd brought the four year old home he hadn't left his side, decided he needed to stick close by whilst Caleb slept so that he could monitor his breathing.

This particular time though, his frantic worries weren't necessary. The shaky breath was just the result of Caleb waking up, and chocolate brown eyes were soon staring back into Alex's, little balled up fists wiping sleep from them. Alex had never exhaled so hard, and whilst right now it scared the crap out of him to even touch Caleb, he leant over and picked the little boy up and out of his bed.

He was lighter than Alex remembered, visibly thinner too and the teacher's thoughts cast back to the scene in the hospital for all those weeks, Caleb weak and tired and being fed through a tube. It made his stomach flare in all kinds of nasty feelings, but Alex tried to brush the thoughts away as the four year old in his lap started to pinch at the teacher's nose, all delicate and playful.

And that was one thing that Alex had already started to find out, that one thing the surgery hadn't changed was Caleb's nature, how carefree and mischevious and just.. childish he was. That was one thing at least, that made Alex smile. He was glad Caleb hadn't been affected too bad and he laughed a genuine laugh when the four year old reached up and pinched at his cheeks with both hands.

'You're a pain in the butt aren't you Caleb?' He grinned, and the four year old let out a little cheeky giggle, trying to wriggle free of Alex's arms and stand up.

'Uh Caleb..', The teacher bit his lip out of worry, unsurely watching the little boy stretch onto his feet. He held his arms either side of Caleb's tiny hips just in case, but the little boy seemed to be okay. Alex calmed down just the littlest bit, and he was about to tell Caleb to be careful when there was a panicked knock on the door, audible even from upstairs. It didn't take a genius to know who it was and Alex rolled his eyes, cautiously picking Caleb up into his arms and moving out of the bedroom.

'You know who that is?' He asked, and the little boy looked down at him from his place on Alex's hip and shook his head, making the teacher smile, 'Do you remember Jack?'

'Jack!'

Of course he remembered. The little boy repeated the name eagerly, practically squeaking it over and over again and almost wriggling out of Alex's arms as he tried to carry the boy downstairs. 'Jack Jack Jack!'

Once on safe, even ground, the older man bit his lip and set Caleb down on the floor, and he didn't know how to feel when the little boy immediately reached up for his hand to hold, but trying not to think too much Alex curled his fingers around the little boys, letting his Son lead him to the door.

'Jack!'

The moment the door opened there was a commotion, and Alex wasn't sure who lunged forward but in any case, in about two seconds flat Caleb was swept up in Jack's arms, burbling on in delight whilst the younger boy rocked him from side to side and bit the four year old's nose playfully.

Even Alex had to just take a moment to watch the two, biting his lip because fuck, Jack was adorable. Despite how frantic the younger boy had sounded on the phone, once he'd closed the door his eyes met Alex's and he smiled, happier than the older man had seen him look for a while.

It barely lasted, but for a few seconds Alex felt tears prickling his eyes.

- - -

'You're doing really fucking amazing, y'know', Jack commented, resting his chin over the older mans shoulder and hugging his waist as Alex scooped some ice-cream into a bowl. The teacher turned his head to the side at the comment, smiled and nuzzled back against him as Jack pecked his cheek.

'You think so?'

'Definitely' The younger boy nodded, and he meant it. What Rian had done today.. he'd thrown Alex in right at the deep end, left him on his own with all these new rules and guidelines to deal with and whilst it wasn't fair, Jack thought the teacher had coped amazingly well so far. And in fact, he seemed kind of happy, less nervous around Caleb than he had been even before the surgery.

Jack had underestimated the older man, that much was for sure, and he'd had a proud swell in his gut the whole time he'd been here, because Alex was just doing so, so fucking well.

The younger boy made sure to tell him this at precise one minute intervals as he curled up with Alex on the couch, the older man rolling his eyes with a tale-tell grin as he spoon-fed Jack some ice-cream.

'As much as I love hearing how amazing I am, you can shut up now'

And okay, maybe Jack was over-doing it a little bit. He was just proud though, ducked his head with pink tinting his cheeks as Alex laughed, guided their lips together softly.

'And as much as I dissaprove, thanks for skipping class and coming here'

'You're very welcome', Jack grinned, and with the butterflies whirling around his stomach as he and Alex watched crappy day time television it was almost entirely easy to forget about their situation, to forget about Rian.

Almost.

It was still there, lodged in the back of Jack's mind and gnawing slowly because as much as he was proud of Alex, the older man shouldn't have had to do what he'd done today, he shouldn't have had to face it all alone. Rian should have been there, and he'd let his best friend down. And not only that, but he'd let a little boy down too. Regardless of conflict between the adults, Caleb shouldn't be paying the price for it.

And Jack had long since decided that he and Rian were going to have a little chat, whenever the older man decided to show up.

For now though, and with Alex smiling and seemingly happy, Jack could just forget about the rest.
 
 
 
joshfrancheesecakerosielee36 on April 24th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
Oh my... this was just perfect. Your writing is perfect. I've had a really shit day, and this chapter just cheered me up so much, it's made me go all fuzzy inside. I'm so glad Alex is can cope with Caleb and that Jack's there for him... kinda curious about where Rian is though. Update soon, I fucking love this. <3
neverlitamatchneverlitamatch on April 24th, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
IYFCAGVCALFCBGASUGB
Oh my god! Your updates never fail to amaze me. xD
This was so bloody beautiful, I'm so glad little Caleb's okay and Jack is just fooking adorable, okay. I'm seriously tryna' think of words I can write down here, but god damn, this is so above perfect.
Your writing is fantastic. <333
xxstayxseventeenxxkaylaprasek on April 25th, 2011 02:09 am (UTC)
the whole part with alex and caleb made me tear up.
it was so adorable and made me so happy to see alex doing ok with his son.
i love the direction i think this is going.
Gabyisiska24 on April 25th, 2011 06:51 pm (UTC)
Alex is amazing with Caleb, they are adorable and this whole chapter was beautiful <3
I just hope Rain will finally stop being a douche..
pansypandemic on April 28th, 2011 01:46 am (UTC)
more please :)
Firi Barakarthjalexjagked on July 4th, 2011 01:35 am (UTC)
Perfection asdfghhjgdnxf Update soon? I don't think I can wait much longer.
yourenotaheroyourenotahero on July 13th, 2011 06:59 am (UTC)
Oh, please update soon. I have fallen in love with this story. It makes me so happy. Adafslkj.
Meghanameggyluvsatl on August 8th, 2011 07:54 am (UTC)
In lOve with this storry :3 I'm glad calebs okay but I hate the fact Rian isent there to help Alex out but I'm glad jack is :)) I just wanna read now!! Haha <3 LOve your style of writing your fluent with everything <3 so beautiful :D
merrikat95merrikat95 on October 15th, 2011 08:50 am (UTC)
fghdgklas this story is perfect, I read it before ages ago and I Just stumbled across it again and I fell in love all over again<333 Please please update it soon! Actually, update any of your stories, maybe write soome more? I love your writing, it really amazes me so much and it makes me actually smile and cry and laugh and even get really angry sometimes ahhaha. But please please finish this story, don't abandon it because I love it too much!